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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

These Bitches is This Bitch

In all things cilantro love and cilantro hate, seriousness can be difficult to gauge. I hope I haven't left anyone confused about my true feelings re: cilantro, nor on this hate's seriousness in my life--to clarify, let's say the hate is more ever-present and real than serious.

But seriously, it's fun to do the occasional site meter read-up, the twitter @reply rundown, the google alerts perusal in the inbox and notice something is abuzz in the esoteric realm of cilantro feelings good and bad.

An enthusiastic "writer" has recently found page view success through a front page Reddit appearance this weekend past. In between "posts" the author of "Fuck Yeah Cilantro" has found time to attack this "blog". Anchor text: IN OTHER NEWS, THE WORLD IS FULL OF SHITHEADS brings you here. It is followed by the elaborating: "i would throw smallpox blankets on these bitches."

Well, sorry to disappoint, but these bitches is this bitch.

Being in the magnanimous mood that I am, I'd like to take this opportunity to reach out to Fuck Yeah Cilantro and say "Love is not the opposite of hate," as a friend once said, "Indifference is the opposite of love." And so, while we ostensibly stand at irreconcilable ends, we're united in a similarly strong, however opposite, relationship with cilantro, which while I hate and you love, we clearly both notice, and in this noticing we both win.

As cilantro becomes more and more popular, so does the hater's ability to ask for its omission in dishes increase. That is, even English speakers of the not proficient sort tend to know what I'm asking for when I say no cilantro these days. That's because it is increasingly, for better but more for worse, part of the American cultural landscape. So cilantro enthusiasts, enjoy your passion, but seriously--lox and cilantro on bagels?

13 comments:

Bauer22 said...

It looks like War of Cilantro 2009 is on! I'm on Anti-Cilantro's side.

Dark said...

Hey, someone linked me to the site attacking your blog, saying "never seen someone so excited over a non smokable herb before."

The person who owns that blog seems rather vile and rude, especially in the way they mentioned your site. You on the other hand seem calm, intelligent and reasonable. Ignore what the CFY blogger says, he/she is clearly an ass.

Personally, I can't give my opinion on the actual site's topic, as I don't actually know what cilantro is. That's probably because I live in the middle of nowhere in the UK, there are people here who don't know what sushi is.

But on the actual site, it's nice and clear, with a neat layout and simple menu. Very nice site, keep it up.

-Dark-

Jared said...

I thought I was alone in my hate for Cilantro. How wonderful to hear that there are other free-thinking diners out there! That green crap is perhaps the most vile, insidious of all "foodstuffs "
It overpowers everything - no matter how small the dose.
We haters can taste it to a level of 1 part per million.
I used to love Mexican food - now it has become trendy to add the swill to almost every dish.
I often travel to Asia & China on biz - Real in-country Chinese food is the most amazing anywhere . . .
But -
Horror of horrors, now the Chinese are starting to add it to everything too !?

Be gone with this trendy God-awful tasting shit !

- Jared

Ariel said...

Cilantro RULES!

I can't understand why people hate cilantro/coriander so much. Though, I hate spinach, so perhaps I understand this hate more than I realize.

Spinach SUCKS!

James said...

As Marx and Engels were to the proletariat, consider me to the cilantro hater's cause. I may not be one myself, but I stand with you in solidarity against the oppression you suffer at the hands of the pro-cilantro bourgeois!

Anonymous said...

I am joining the Cilantro and Mosquito Eradicate from Planet Earth Enclave (C ME PEE). I heard there's a gene that allows us haters to identify the devil weed to the 1 part per million (as Jared said). Stay pure.

Gojin said...

Well some of us hate it because we're missing a certain genetic variation which makes it taste like soap to us. Literally. And we can taste it in any food, no matter how little cilantro is used. It's really annoying to take a sip of soup and have it taste like someone squeezed half a bottle of Palmolive into it before serving it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coriander#Leaves

Read up on it.

JR Minkel said...

I adore this post. I also second what Gojin said. Sounds like a genetic thing.

Seth said...

Very Glad I found your blog, I despise Cilantro and my lunch was ruined today because of it. I got a falafel gyro from a bodega on the corner of 26th and Broadway, went back to the office and bit into the gyro with shocking disgust...tons of cilantro. I was so disappointed. All I asked for was lettuce and tomato. Who the eff puts cilantro on a falafel gyro anyhow! Beware of the gyros at 26th and broadway...nasty.

Anonymous said...

I love this blog concept. I totally, completely and categorically DESPISE tarragon with every fiber of my being, and all of my friends make fun of me for it (eff 'em!), so I understand from whence you come. Rock on!

Erin Hollingsworth said...

i love tarragon, almost as much as i hate cilantro. but, if i may, this blog is really more about the spirit of hate than the specifics.

in fun,

Anonymous said...

I love, love, love cilantro.

Yum.

Yum.

WENDEE HOLTCAMP said...

OMG that is so funny that your blog is called this. My boyfriend and I have an inside joke sort of thing going on with Cilantro. It all started when he asked me, "what's that herb that's green?" After I peeled myself off the floor from laughing, we figured out what he was talking about. "Cilerno" he said. "You mean CILANTRO?!!!! Again, rolling on the floor, I figured out what he was talking about. We both love it, actually, and now we always call it Cilerno. (sill-air-no is how we pronounce it). Our first dog will be named Cilerno. We already refer to him all the time in conversation. :) At any rate I'm an SEJ member and found you via a joint #FF mention by @sejorg